The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Kanye West and Donald Trump are taking the black and white buddy cop comedy genre too far.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 14, 2016
I like how men act like our monthly is a personal affront against them…because it’s super fun for us & we summon it for your inconvenience
— LL’s Heart (@ALadiesHeart) December 10, 2016
every time i hear the line of american boy where estelle says “i just met a 5’7 guy who’s just my type” i’m just like…are you sure?
— dat bae (@radioheadass) December 16, 2016
Kids, “What did you bring us from your trip?”
*hands over tiny bottles of shampoo and conditioner*
Me, “You’re welcome!”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 12, 2016
*makes plans to return to dating apps in 2017*
*remembers there won’t be time because the patriarchy must be fought; cancels*
— Hollis Miller (@missehollis) December 14, 2016
I am the opposite of allergic to dogs, like I have a reaction if I am NOT around them
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 12, 2016
Wear yoga pants or don’t. But never, ever, ever write about wearing yoga pants.
— KB (@KaraRBrown) December 15, 2016
*takes a deep breath*
*pulls covers over head and goes back to sleep*
— Aimee Helene (@AimeeHelene1) December 13, 2016
me, as a juror: your honor, whats the defendant’s sign
lawyer: i don’t see how–
judge: just answer
lawyer: um, gemini
— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) December 15, 2016
I just ate because I was tired, so don’t tell me I’m out of touch with myself.
— June O’Hara (@juneohara65) December 14, 2016
Having large boobs is a fun way to tell people you don’t jog.
— Kim Monte (@KimmyMonte) December 14, 2016
him: haha you’re the best
me: [whispering] I suck at basketball
him: omg just take the compliment
me: [whispering] I can’t even do a layup
— Juliet Actually (@julietactually) December 14, 2016
The strands of dark brown hair stuck to the tape of your Christmas present are my bonus gift to you.
— Kimtopher (@chelliet22) December 11, 2016
It’s Newton’s fourth law that if a woman looks at herself in any kind of reflective surface some strange man will go “you look fine.”
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) December 15, 2016
Weather channel: It’s going to get up into the mid-30’s this afternoon but it’ll still feel like it’s in the teens.
Me: Literally me.
— (((OhNoSheTwitnt))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 16, 2016
Congrats to everyone who had Trump and Kanye as the final two in their Narcissist Tournament of Champions bracket!
— Susie Meister (@susie_meister) December 13, 2016
Remember when Ryan Lochte was the most embarrassing thing about our country? Good times.
— Monica Ann (@Monicann86) December 16, 2016