It’s the most wonderful time of the year! But there’s one aspect of the holiday season that’s got Stephen Colbert seriously bugged.
“This one is a messed up tradition,” said Colbert. “If you catch somebody underneath mistletoe, tradition says you can kiss that person whether they want it or not.”
“It should be called mistle-Trump,” he added, in reference to President-elect Donald Trump’s pre-election comments about being able to grab women “by the pussy” due to his celebrity status. “Donald Trump said if you’re a star, you can grab them by the holly and they can’t stop you,” quipped Colbert.
The comedian later said people shouldn’t call him a party-pooper due to his disdain for the practice because “the real pooper here is mistletoe,” as the word in fact derives from “mistle” meaning “dung” and “tan” meaning “twig.”
“Oooh, kiss me! I’m standing under the shit-stick! So romantic,” Colbert joked, before explaining how the plant spreads (via birds pooping the seeds out) and asking why, given its poisonous nature, people didn’t just “hang up a bag of cyanide capsules to kiss underneath?”
Check out the full monologue above.