As a year, 2016 was chaotic ― to say the least. If your love life was a hot mess too, take comfort in knowing you weren’t alone in, well, being so alone. Below, 23 people on Twitter whose love lives were even messier than yours in 2016.
highly intelligent, attractive, very insecure & needy af in fact i already feel like you’re cheating i forgive i don’t forget
— Jacob Swift (@Jacob_Swift16) November 25, 2016
I have a first date tonight and I accidentally sent a screenshot of the guy’s profile TO THE GUY PLS BURN ME ALIVE
— Alanna Bennett (@AlannaBennett) June 23, 2016
Just got carsick from tinder swiping in the Uber so how’s your night going
— kelsey darragh (@kelseydarragh) May 1, 2016
EX: Dating you is like dating a stairmaster.
ME: Dating you is like dating some asshole who quotes Aaron Sorkin
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) March 21, 2016
TACO BELL CASHIER: your total is $4.20
ME: haha NICE
WOMAN I JUST MET ON EHARMONY: this was a mistake
— Bon Ivavra (@john_vavra) December 9, 2016
ME: bae come over
DOMINOS: sir, we’ve asked you to stop calling us that
M: but my parents aren’t-
D: you’re making us very uncomfortable
— Bon Ivavra (@john_vavra) December 6, 2016
DOCTOR: Are you sexually active?
DOCTOR: Are you at least active?
ME: Also no.
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 4, 2016
DATE: Tell me something naughty about you
ME: Sure [loudly chewing a steak] I haven’t brought any money
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) December 6, 2016
I love restaurants with iPads I have all my receipts texted to my ex. Thats right Jen you missed out on a ton of pizza. hope the babies cool
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) March 10, 2016
Not only did I not feel the earthquake, I haven’t felt anything since Sophie said “I don’t think I can be your girlfriend anymore”
— Paul Isakson (@paulytamale) June 10, 2016
*looks at dating site for 4 minutes*
*immediately searches for a men in black mind eraser on eBay*
— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) April 20, 2016
WESTWORLD HOST: “You can do anything here that you can’t do in the real world. No consequences.”
*texts ex how much I miss her*
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) December 5, 2016
(Date at Papa John’s)
Her: So tell me about yours-
Me: *mouth full of pizza* He’s not actually our dad, that’s just the restaurant’s name
— Snow (B)ice (@Pro_Jones_) December 16, 2016
I tried to swipe a crumb off my phone and accidentally liked all 240 pictures of my ex girlfriend’s trip to Maui with Roger
— vineyille (@vineyille) March 6, 2016
DATE: I voted for Trump.
ME: [trying to impress her] Oh ya? My uncle is a racist.
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) November 29, 2016
I drunk dialled my ex but it was the wrong number and made a stranger cry.
— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) February 12, 2016
HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u?
ME: OMG SAME
HER: What part’s ur fave?
ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo
— Terry F (@daemonic3) August 30, 2016
if we’re making lists, i’d like to nominate my utterance of ˝this milk expires on my ex’s birthday˝ as the saddest thing i’ve said all year
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) January 29, 2016
ME: I had a really nice time tonight.
HER: I’ll call you.
MORGAN FREEMAN: She never did call.
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) December 14, 2016
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